The Death Star


I'm no moon ...

Deep Space
Joined April 2009

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  1. Happy Empire day! Look out for the special fireworks I will be providing later.

  2. Fourth of May be with you.

  3. Thirty days has September, April, June and November. All the rest have thirty-one, except February, 'cos I'm coming to blow up your planet.

  4. Reports that burgers served in the canteen contain traces of Wookiee are false. We only serve 100% grade-A Ewok.

  5. retweeted

    "New rubbish dialogue reaches me every other day..." Alec Guinness in 75/76, writing to a friend about Star Wars:

  6. The original plans called for me to have a super-duper laser. Stupid budget cuts!

  7. Energizing super laser...

  8. ... two of your Earth minutes. Thank you very much.

  9. ... Through your system, and regrettably your planet is one of those scheduled for demolition. The process will take slightly less than...

  10. People of Earth, your attention please! Plans for the development of this region of space call for the construction of a hyperspace bypass..

  11. Closing in on the Sol system now. About to come out of hyperspace. Should be in orbit around Earth soon.

  12. T-9 days until Earth orbit.

  13. Ah-haha. Thanks. Don't forget to tip your waitress. I'll be here all week. Then blowing up your planet.

  14. Q) How do you stop Governor Tarkin eating your sweaters? A) Moff Balls!

  15. A: One's a powerful and evil old man who sits in a big chair and has a strange voice and corrupts the young and is dead and the other...

  16. Q: What's the difference between Emperor Palpatine and Jimmy Savile?

  17. . Ah-ha. Ah-ha ha ha ha. Prepare to have your planet demolished, spamscum!

  18. Tune in tomorrow when I will be space jumping onto Felix Baumgartner.

  19. Bomberman :-(

  20. By which I mean they found a foot in my trench. Porkins' by the look of it.

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